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The recent tragic helicopter crash which took the lives of 9 people has triggered a public dialogue that was enhanced by Kobe Bryant being among those who died. Whenever anyone passes away suddenly or through tragic circumstances, many people express their regret of not communicating with the person who they have lost.

The finality of death ends all contact with those that we have lost. We cannot communicate with them and in many cases we have left unsaid what we wish we could make right. When my father passed away from a heart attack I experienced the loss and anger with his death. My anger was directed at my not being able to tell my father that I loved him.

Being 19, I did not know that I would lose the chance to express feelings that I had for my father. This is my one true regret, but it has created an acceptance of not taking life for granted, making sure that I do communicate not only the words, but the actions of someone who cares about others. Unfortunately we often learn hard lessons through emotional pain that is often of our own cause.

Living in the moment, with our priorities in order, can create a mindset that seizes the day and its opportunities to live with our humanity. Through our interactions with those we love and care about we are creating lasting memories that are invaluable. Fond memories keeps the love we share with others in our lives long after we have lost someone special. Loss and grief hurt but are a part of being human.

The grief process has evolved , for me, over the years with my living and realizing that when we share our support and condolences with friends, we honor the person we have lost but also support the survivors as well. As a young man, I avoided such visitation as it was too painful a memory from my father’s death. Today, while still difficult, my understanding puts me in the position to share feelings that help heal those who have lost a loved on.

I still feel the loss with my father but I have put it in a place that helps me share compassion in a healthy manner. Life’ lessons are painful but a part of growing as a person. I encourage you to connect with those that will appreciate your efforts, caring is what we can do for others.

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