Emotional Well Being

What is it and how can we get it?

Generally speaking we are not raised or taught to understand or handle our emotions or feelings.  I operate as a neuro-linguistic psychologist. I am sure this much jargon is confusing at best to people.

More simply, “what you think, is what you feel”. Before we have feelings or emotions we think.  Thoughts precede feelings, with words or images that stimulate human emotions.

Thoughts take place in micro seconds, based on what we see or experience in the world.  Most of us have heard of “fight or flight”.  When cave men saw a dangerous animal, they made quick decisions to fight for their lives or run to save their life.  In modern life the dangers are not always so blatant or obvious.  The stock market, cyber criminals, personal relationships, raising kids and just daily life are examples of situations that can have an element of danger or uncertainty.  How we feel about all of these things can be stressful, difficult to manage and detrimental to our physical health as well.

Physical well-being, or health seems fairly straight forward.  What we eat, how or if we , disease, and genetics all impact human beings.  The health care system has grown and evolved and is in place to help us manage our life long health.  The quality of this care varies around the world, so where we are born and where live can dictate how much care is available to us.

Financial well-being can includes earning a living, the amount of wealth we accumulate, saving for when we retire, and how we manage our money during our life time.

Moving to emotional Well Being brings us to, what is our perception of this aspect.  One of my first questions to people is how are you feeling, and often automatic response is “fine”.  What that means to anyone can vary but my rejoinder is “really? Or you do not look fine.” This usually leads to the discussion on how the person truly feels.  Unless the person is under the effects of drugs, suffers from severe mental health issues or is physically exhausted, therapy or counseling begins to explore with the person what they need or want to do about their Well-being.

In some situations, this exploration is the first time the person has asked for or sought counseling.  Very few people expect to talk with a stranger and explore difficult or intimate details of their lives.  As these sessions are confidential, they can safely explore how they feel about such issues and work on how best to gain control of their lives. It is the responsibility of the counselor to safely support the client in their quest for answers, understanding, and solutions. Such work has limits and is geared to the wishes and needs of the client.

Teaching, coaching, and therapy are for the person who is seeking or receiving such professional service. Such relationships are mutually agreed upon with clear lines of separation. The professional is the guide for the person as they explore and seek what it is that they need, while looking out for their welfare as they move along.  From the first meeting on, termination or the end of the relationship is discussed.  As in any exploration, there are goals to reach and we usually know when we have reached our destination.